Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Is it just me.....Long Boring Meandering

Or is everyone feeling totally in a crappy mood these days? I'm being polite in public but honestly i want to drop the 'f-bomb' with every other word right now. grrrrr...

1) I am feeling bored with blogging right now. I wrote a post a week ago, or rather, started a post a week ago...but EVEN I got bored reading it!

2) I want the romance back....the excitement of waiting for those comments after unfurling a new project for display..or the commiseration from all the knitbuds when good yarn goes horribly wrong. What happened? Was it Ravelry? I admit, I've been cheating around on this blog. I make comments in the groups i'm in...check new patterns, etc. It's exciting over there. There are NEW PATTERNS! And old patterns done in new yarns...and yarns I have that had no purpose, or had been depurposed now had hope and inspiration going for them. And the new faces and new "friends" from all over the world holy cow...and their pictures...and projects..and stashes and blogs...No wonder I've spent so much time away.

Yet, here is my own coming home sweet loyal blog. Taking whatever pictures and tidbits of life thrown her way. Demanding little in return. Tour of the sidebar, I read the Knitbuds and make a few comments here and again. I stop by my first regular pusher..Elann.com...lurk in the chatroom, make an occaissional comment..and then sneak off into the night..back to the siren that is Ravelry.

Not to mention other distractions.

3) Last Thursday night in L&D I had 8 babies during my 12hr (extended to 14 1/2 hr just to finish all the paperwork) overnight call. I caught 7 of them myself...the first two while another went to C-Section.

The C-Section was a first time mom who'd pushed for 3 hrs. Baby was direct OP (facing mom's pubic bone instead of the normal facing mom's bottom position). Most of the time these babies turn during pushing. Lots of times they are born face-up without difficulty..(except the dreaded back labor). Sometimes we midwives or docs can 'spin' the baby with position changes and manual pressure upwards on baby's head. And then again, sometimes it just doesn't work and it's time to say 'when' before baby gets punky.

The rest were easy normal uncomplicated deliveries. Two women were complete upon arrival in triage. In fact, we had to close one of the inner triage doors and just catch a quickie in the private triage room. Nice busy evening. I was very sore and tired for the next few days.

Had another lovely day with a 'Hypnobirthing' first timer who I'd seen in clinic occaisionally. Gorgeous spirit renewing birth.

I am so fortunate to be able to make my living from one of my passions. And to recognize my need to 'write a bit' which is sometimes my blogging, to sort out the stressors and emotions and put things back into perspective.

4) The weather in Anchorage has been miserable. We have had record late snowfall. So freaking depressing. In fact last night...we got SIX MORE INCHES of snow at my house...after just fighting through ALMOST A FOOT OF NEW SNOW last week. The sun has peaked out twice with brightness and melting warmth...and THEN EVERYTHING FREEZES again overnight. Sometimes I lose my patience with the place I love. Guess it's just like some of those times in married life.

5) Speaking of which. Bets termed DH "Dead Man Walking". Why? do you ask. Remember my Bed and Breakfast pullover. Finally finished up less than a month or so ago AFTER 2 YEARS AS A WIP. Gorgeous, well fitting, perfect color, cabley goodness. Yes, that one.
Helpful dear that he is....accidently....washed it with red towels. lots of 'em. in hot water. Gone is the gorgeous stitch definition...flat and subtle bumps where exuberent cables used to play. Just an FYI, elann.com's Sierra Aran felts very very well. The sweater would fit a six year old...if a six year old would wear 3/8" thick felt that can stand up by itself.

Yes. There were tears. Yes. Mean things spewed from my mouth. High drama at the midwife's house.

Maybe later I'll cut it up and sew up a nice felted bag out of it and wear it all the time or use it for a knitting bag or something just as a nice reminder. There will be retail therapy for this one. Oh yeah.

6) Teen angst. Gag. Demon child/Angel child. I love her, it's motherhood. Not the job of your dreams but I think you just have to savor the sometimes few and far between good bits at certain points and know that in a day/week/month/year or two the lightbulb will go on and the person you know love admire respect and see on occaission is still there and will ultimately return fulltime. And sometimes you just have to smile over gritted teeth. I'm lucky. No 'real problems'. But gosh can't they just tear your heart up sometimes! Makes me regret all over again some of the things I did when I was her age...not realizing how worried and helpless my own mom must have felt.

7) Our annual AK Chapter of the ACNM annual education conference is this Friday. I've been on the planning committee for this for the past 4 years. This year it was myself and 2 other women..that's it. And honestly...the amazing Sarah T, CNM was the driving force behind assuring everything was done. I still have to drop off 2 of the speaker's vested interest forms to the Nurse's Association office to finalize the number of CEUs we'll receive. I'm still waiting for 5 out of the 6 speaker's notes/slides for the syllabus that I need to drop off and have copied and comb or spiral bound tonight to pick up tomorrow. I need to pick up speaker honorarium and gift cards. And candies for the snack bowls on the tables. And water bottles. And flowers for the podium and sign in tables. And confirm the technology list with the conference facility. And pick up the door prizes. And make sure Yolanda brings posters and tickets to sell for our sponsored showing of "The Business of Being Born" (available now on Netflix folks..or in Anchorage at the Bear Tooth...locals, let me know if you want tickets for 5/13..$3.00). I have no freakin' idea what I'm going to wear yet and I have to introduce folks and make a little opening statement. Gag. Ok Breathe...Oh, yeah, did I mention, I'm on overnight at the hospital tonight. Gotta ramp up with some caffein here I guess.

8) Next week, I need to work on my poster and presentation. What's this? I've been invited to attend an International Gathering on Rural Indigenous Midwifery (US & Canada) in Rockville, MD...just a stone's throw away from our nation's capital. I'll be there 5 days and will attend numerous discussion groups, conferences, presentations and information gathering sessions with midwives from all across North America. I feel so honored to be a part of this. You just can't imagine. I am traveling in elite company. Our tribal doctor, Rita Pitka Blumenstein, will be with us. She is one of the Thirteen Grandmothers. Legendary and highly honored Alaska CNM, Marilyn Pierce-Bulger is one of the facilitators. Margaret Baldwin, CNM...developer of the Rural Maternal Child Health Health program for Alaska Natives..sending CNMs from ANMC to rural and remote villages to provide prenatal and women's/infant's health care and education in an adjunct to the Community Health Aide services provided. Joan Koval, CNM will be presenting on Hypnobirthing... classes she offers through our Women's Health Clinic, and I'll be showing off the integrated services model of prenatal and primary care I developed within the substance abuse and mental health treatment program I worked at for more than 7 years. I'm excited to go. It will get me out of town...which I feel like I desperately need right now. And travel knitting time. Love it!

9) The week right after I get back from Rockville, I have my first village travel. Initially, I was supposed to go to Sand Point...waaaaay out on the Aleutian chain...small aircraft...lots of weather. I have airsick issues anyway. When colleague Sarah T. said she was ready for a little adventure and would I be interested in swapping villages...hers were Mentasta and Chistochina...remote..but on the road system, I knew immediately that the right answer was HECK YEAH! So I'll be on a road trip! YAY! Lots and lots of knitting time!

10) The remodel is coming along sooooo....sllllloooooowwwlly..but things are starting to get a little exciting. No pics yet but sooon dahlings soooon.

11) Knitting: Still workin on the Forest Canopy Shawl...have more than 250 stitches on the needles...want a BIG shawl....will be winding down soon I think. Only had to tink back and reknit 4 rows and had no lifeline but threaded my size 1 47" KPO needle through a safe row and it was easy peasy...even through over 240 stitches!

12) The SWEETEST package came in the mail yesterday from blogless candeedarling from the sweets swap on Ravelry. My package is winging it's way to France! I will get photos as soon as I can stop shoving caramels into my mouth. She sent me corn yarn too. Maizy sock yarn..she's just the sweetest.photos to come, honest.

13) Well if you made it this far you are truly a trooper. I'll try to post some photos after this weekend. I feel a bit better now. This blogging post let me vent a bit, organize my thoughts a bit, and realize that honestly, even though gas is over $3.50/gallon here...things could be a helluva lot worse....and it's just life in general! I'm gonna go play with the kitten. And you should go to YouTube and watch THIS!

I'll truly try to post some pics soon! Thanks for reading and all your comments are sincerely appreciated! Knit on.

15 comments:

Minnie~Knits said...

It's fun to vent! I (heart) venting.
I think it's normal to go through phases. For instance, right now I'm in a carpal tunnel phase. Clappy hates me, I hate clappy, and also holding scissors at work. Sigh.

I mean; I am the lamest blogger ever. I post way more pics of my pups than of my knitting. (they're more interesting anyway, so we all win!)

Maybe it will make you feel better to know that I spent a ridiculous amount of time watching "Deadliest Catch" this weekend. You know of this show? The show about Alaskan crab fishing? I am obsessed with that show. I have seen every episode like a million times.

Ok I have to go take a nap. Hang in there buddy! And yes, Ravelry is addictive. It is my bestest friend and my worstest enemy, all in one time sucking lump of fun!

Milly said...

Oh dear Lord! I have to admit I wasn't able to comprehend much of your post after the part about your DH washing your sweater with the towels.
I think that is legal grounds for divorce in any state, holy cow! I'd be dropping the F bomb too.

I hope Ravelry doesn't take people away from their personal blogs, I love Ravelry and am a member of a few groups there, but I spend much more time on my blog than I do over there. I love your blog!

TracyKM said...

"In fact, we had to close one of the inner triage doors and just catch a quickie in the private triage room."
LOL!!
That's horrible about your sweater. Somedays I'm glad my husband doesn't do much around here!

CatBookMom said...

O.M.G. He *washed* the B&B? With RED towel? Girl, I cannot think of enough nouns, adjectives and adverbs to bestow upon his ears over that. He may need to come crawling home with some glitters over this one.

I know about the non-blogging, and the Ravelry effect; I do a good bit of socializing there myself. But the good-ol' blog is a fine place for venting, even if you don't actually post the post, as 'twere.

Sounds like you're going to be having a huge amount of career-type fun, even though you've got a gazillion things to organize about your local meeting. Have a wonderful time out there on the Right Coast; don't forget to research LYSs in the neighborhood, and maybe there are even knitbuds nearby.

Hugs!! And put on your heaviest Danskos for kicking a certain person's butt.

Holly Jo said...

That is HORRIFIC about your sweater!!!! Very, very worthy of some major profanity and jumping up and down.

It must be the weather because everyone I talk to is in the foulest mood. Even my kids are not very chipper and nothing brings my youngest down.

smariek said...

AAAAAAAACCCCKKK!!!! I can't believe I read that correctly, about what happened to your B&B. He has a lot to do to make up for that one.

Wow, 8 babies during one shift, that's so cool.

Your blog is always an interesting read.

Arctic Knitter said...

Ahhhh!!!! Felted sweater?!? That definitely deserves the F-Bomb! I know what you mean about posting, the crappy weather, & teenagers.

Arghh!! Needless to say, this late snow has put a serious damper on the soccer season. So much for a glorious return to soccer coaching.

Teenagers are a bit frustrating too - not too happy with some of the choices some of them have made lately. We need to have faith that most will grow up & turn out fine.

Keep knitting - it's one thing to help keep us sane.

aksunflour said...

To horrible to hear about your sweater.

LOL! We only got a fraction of an inch down here w/last nights snow!

That is a lot of Babies be born in one night! The hospital down here only has 4 rooms w/two overflow rooms. Interesting concept of Hypnobirthing- could be very/extremely helpful (especially when drugs aren't an option).

Loved the you tube video.

Be thankful Gas up there isn't $3.89 a gallon. (And I drive by a refinery on my way to work each day!).

Hang in there... heard a rumor that it was supposed to get in the 50's this weekend.

KnittySue said...

Venting is refreshing...and just so you know I truely enjoy your venting and your blog. Your passion (career) is so facinating as well as your outlook. And those of us in the "lower 48" like to see and hear what Alaska is all about.
I look forward to your posts and pictures so don't give up.

Laura Jane said...

Hi from autumnal Australia! The weather is 'closing in' here - but probably still balmy for you AK folk!

Wails of dismay at the fate of your hard slog sweater. MAJOR grovelling required. And please do make a bag with the remains. It is only fitting that you have the use of it.

I bought a handknitted aran sweater from a thrift shop this week. Just couldn't stand to see it sitting there. I have no idea what I will do with it, I can't wear cream (I look sick) but it needed a home. Soi it has joined The Stash.

8 babies - well - you know my opinion on that - I would be a bit hysterical (only partly with delight), but good catching Lisa!

Can I come to your conference? Do you have beam-me-up facilities? Damn. SO looks like I can't go then. Best of luck with it all, especially your presentation.

Great idea for the Village road trip, the work sounds interesting.

And this blog has done its job - you have vented and now you feel a bit better and all your cyber buds can offer sympathy and (((hugs))). We don't care when or why, just do what you can be bothered with, whenever it suits you! You can always say you use it as a professional reflective tool, and claim PD credits!!

Oh, by the way, I may have caught a bug from you...its called knitting a sock. If he's lucky he'll get TWO!!

much love midwife buddy.

Grace Yaskovic said...

I read every last line and would read even more, i still enjoy the blog more then Ravelry because I put more of me out there on the blog, the mechanics are taken care of on Ravelry but the heart is on the blog.

You sound overwhelmed, you have so much going on in your life so the little things will definitely set you off---been there doing that!!

I am glad whenever I see you have updated, its just nice knowing you are out there!!! Hugs Grace

Tara said...

I totally understand about the blog vs. Ravelry issue. I spend WAY more time on Ravelry than I want to admit, and sometimes I feel like I'm scraping the bottom of the bucket looking for blog fodder. Rest assured, your blog posts are always witty and fun and entertaining.

Oh yes, let's take lemons (felted sweater) and make lemonade, my friend. A bag of some sort is absolutely in order here. At least the most emotional part is over (the felting). Now you have the opportunity to make something great out of it. Poor DH, I bet he felt horrible.

I'll be sending you good and peaceful thoughts! I hope things settle down soon!

Trish - My Merino Mantra said...

Wow, lots going on with you. The kids, well, I will be e-mailing you for support when mine get that age. Heck, mine have their own issues now, and I'm getting a taste of it. About that sweater: Oh, my heart sank when I read that. I really feel for you. Is he still able to stand?

Mags said...

I'm so sorry about your sweater - that is Horrible! It was a really lovely sweater too, I never commented on it, but I enjoyed the pictures.

I think everyone is in a foul mood these days, it is the on-again, off-again spring. Waiting for mother nature to make up her mind. And hell - I'm just ready for summer!

I haven't posted on my blog since March 14th and I haven't yet figured out the inspiration of what to blog about, so don't feel bad, at least you're still doing it.

breno said...

There's book material in there somewhere. Know what you mean about waiting for comments. So nice to know someelse is "enjoying" your life.